i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
