just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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