I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
