watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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