the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize