Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
