you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
