yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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