Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
