just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
