You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
