the new term for farting is butt boxing.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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