We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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