Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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