Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
