Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
