I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
