hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
