we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
third nipple confirmed
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