So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
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Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
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I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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