Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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