I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
her vagine was all disorganized.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
