He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
