Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize