he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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