I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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