Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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