Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
