So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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