dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
