did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
