He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
