Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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