just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
