Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
