this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
