when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
