I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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