Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
