That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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