There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
And the cops told us we were all naked.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
