you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
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