Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize