i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
