I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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