No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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