Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
