And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
