Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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