I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
