Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
