i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
