All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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