those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
