Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize