coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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