Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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