I think i peed on brittanys purse
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
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