I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
