If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
