she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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