Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
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Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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