What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
