I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
