The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
