I'm passing your future prison.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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