You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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