My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Randomize
