I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
