I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
