I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
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