So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
