Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Fuck appropriateness.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
