it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
