Where is the hickey?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
